wedding issue #1

I'm getting married in September.  I'll be 24 when I say "I do," which makes me feel old (because I feel like married people are old) and young because other people my age are saying they couldn't think of being married at our age.  I got engaged this past December, leaving me a cool 10 months to plan.  This will be the first of a few wedding issues.  Let me give you a glimpse of what you'll run into...

The day you're engaged:

Yay!  You're engaged!  You're so excited and just want to tell EVERYONE!  When I called a few close friends/siblings within an hour of the proposal (after calling parents first), this is what I was faced with from my single friends:

Me: Hey I'm engaged!
Friend: "Omg!  No way!  Congrats!  Tell me how it happened!"
Me: I tell them the story of how creative and thoughtful the proposal was and what the ring looks like.
Friend: "So when's the wedding?  What's the theme of the wedding?  Do you have colors picked out?  What kind of dress do you want?  Are you having chicken or beef?  I personally prefer chicken, pairs so well with white wine... what kinds of white wine are you having?"
Me: ".... This literally happened 40 minutes ago, I have no idea, haha."
Friend: "Well you better start planning!  I watch those wedding shows and those brides are so stressed out!  If you need anything let me know (when what they really mean is "if you need me to give you things to stress out about, let me know").

Seriously?  Right after Justin proposed, my reaction wasn't, "Yes!  And by the way, we should do a ____ theme wedding with _____ colors.  How do you feel about fondant icing?"

I'm guessing due to Pinterest and Etsy, most girls are planning their dream weddings before they're even in a relationship (I won't even go there), so maybe they already know the answers to the questions that I was faced with on my first day of being a fiancee.

Here's the reaction I dealt with from people who are already married:

Me: "Hey I'm engaged!"
Married person: "Congrats!  Have you started planning?  You know the sooner you plan the better it turns out.  When's the date?"
Me: "Oh sometime in September we're thinking."
Married person: "THIS COMING SEPTEMBER?!  Can you even get a dress in time?  Mine took MONTHS to get in.  You need to figure out a venue and catering FAST before they're all taken!  And don't forget about a photographer and DJ."
Me: "Yeah I'll figure it out."
Married person: "Ha well you better figure it out fast, I don't even know how you'll get a wedding planned in less than a year!  When I was planning my wedding... (goes into a long winded story about their wedding planning)."

Let's get one thing straight: just because you planned your own wedding and got married does not make you have a Ph. D. in wedding planning.... yet almost every married person I've dealt with has acted like just because they booked this one fabulous photographer or had a really great DJ that their wedding is the only way to do a wedding.  I imagine that first-time moms face a similar experience from their aunts/sisters (who already have kids) about how to raise children.

For instance, tradition dictates that bridesmaids are to be shoved into the same frumpy, boxy, ugly satin dresses that aren't flattering so the bride will be the most beautiful one in her wedding party (hint: doesn't always work that way); they also must agree with the bride that they are "totally cute" and "oh yeah we can totally wear these again!" although deep down they can't believe they have to wear them in public.  Well, I decided to deviate from the norm because I hate doing things like everyone else; it's just how I am.  I don't believe in doing something just because some societal norm that is rooted in superstition says so.  I'm confident enough in my identity to know that my chances of tying the knot are not going to be thrown off by my bridesmaids looking hot.  I want my friends to be happy, confident, and pretty in what they're wearing... not to mention I can't stand the thought of them spending $100+ on a dress they don't even like.  So I decided after choosing my colors to let them pick their own dresses as long as it was in the given color.

Reaction #1 (mostly friends/bridesmaids): "THANK YOU for not making us all get the same dress!  This way we can each get a dress to flatter our figure and show our personality... not to mention we'll pick something we actually like!"

Reaction #2 (mostly those already married or older people): "Oh so they won't be wearing the same dress?  Won't it look uncoordinated?  I mean, it's YOUR wedding and everything, but I wouldn't be surprised if people think it looks messy.  So you might want to reconsider."

I'm not taking anything personally; everyone's entitled to an opinion.  This is the way I see it: it's our wedding, so we're going to do things the way WE want to.  We're only getting married once, so we want to do it on our terms.  Not to mention that no matter what we do, someone will find an aspect that they don't like... especially when a few family members figure out it's a non-religious wedding.

Within 5 weeks of the proposal, I had the venue/catering, photographer, DJ, and wedding cake booked and deposits paid.  I have my dress and shoes already; those came in a few weeks ago.  I honestly can't understand what all the fuss is about with planning.

Taste testing commences on Thursday evening with my fiance and future in-laws.  Wish me luck!

Random thoughts

I haven't posted recently (work, exercise regimen, new book series, and random errands/chores have kept me preoccupied)... so here is a list of a few random things about me

1) I have to check my flat iron/curling iron/waver 3-4 times before I leave my apartment to make sure it's unplugged and completely cool or I'm afraid it will spontaneously catch on fire.  This also applies to the stove and toaster oven
2) My fiance and I motivate each other to reach our goals, exercise, and eat healthier... which is good since we're both stubborn and tenacious
3) I have to lock my door 5-7 times when leaving, always on an uneven number.  Psych majors - eat your heart out
4) I can't stand creme brulee or saffron because of the texture and aftertaste
5) I have to arrive to any meeting, appointment, or work at least 5-15 minutes earlier than I need to be.  If I am running late for any reason, it causes massive anxiety
6) I have road rage... especially when running late (see above)
7) I love singing, but I'm terrified of anyone hearing me so I only do it in the car when I'm by myself
8) Pregnancy freaks me out; it's like something out of a sci-fi movie to me.  Wouldn't laying an egg be easier?
9) I am very guarded with my emotions and do not wear them on my sleeve; I do not gush over Nicholas Sparks novels or other uber-girly things
10) My biggest irrational fear?  Tornadoes.  My biggest rational fear?  Living a life that is so boring that I am easily forgotten.
11) I wish wherever I lived was like Oregon: where no employer can refuse to hire me because of my tattoos/make me cover up my tattoos... that way I could get really awesome tattoos on my arms
12) I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life besides traveling, and I can't make a career out of that, so I need to figure that out... then I end up distracting myself with something else.  Like exercise, my fiance, or my current job.


I accidentally applied a double tanning elixir instead of sunscreen today, so now I'm exhausted from my sunburn.  I promise for a better post next time.  Off to bed I go.

You can't just want something to happen

I've been thinking for a while now that I want to be in better shape; I haven't gained weight and I'm not overweight (I'm actually at a healthy weight for my age and height), but I want to be toned.  Every bride wants to look thin for her wedding.  Today I finally got the push I needed to hit the gym for the first time in months.  And what gave me the final push?  Pinterest.  How did Pinterest motivate me to get in shape and randomly sign up for a 5k in July?  Well, let me just show you.

Holy shit!  Who wouldn't want to look like her?  Sign me up.  I'm only going to be in my 20's once; just because I'm getting married doesn't mean I'm going to let myself go.  Why not be the best version of myself now?  If I worked hard enough and continued with my reformed diet (healthier, whole grains, no soda, no fast food) that I adopted when I found out my mom was a diabetic a few weeks ago, I can totally be this toned and shed a few pounds.  Let's see how Pinterest practically bullied me into my workout goal (but has valid points):

Well when it's worded that way...  Why haven't I started this sooner?  I want to look the best I've ever looked.  I would love to randomly run into someone from high school that hasn't seen me in years and have them do a double take because I look a lot better now than I did back then.  Although other girls won't admit this (but we all think this way), I want to look so good that guys will kick themselves for not trying to date me back in the day.  I'd love for my fiance to be able to show me off like I'm some sort of trophy wife.  So I'm going to use Pinterest to push me, the Color Run in Columbus as a goal (to run the whole 5k), and this handy little app called "my fitness pal," which assesses your goals based on your height and weight to give you how many calories you're allowed to eat every day while also incorporating how many calories you burn during workouts.  I've only been using "my fitness pal" for a few days and I've already noticed a huge difference in how I eat.  My days off will not be spent like they have been in the past; they will be intense cardio workout days.  Right now I'm only working out 4 times a week, but I want to turn it into a part of my daily routine.  I know these things take time, so I don't want to overwork myself.  But I like having goals in mind.  Right now, I have one goal and I'm not stopping until I accomplish it.

Books you should read

Here is my "must read" list (in no particular order):

• "50 Jobs in 50 States" by Daniel Seddiqui
• This guy was in his early 20's and couldn't find a job that had anything to do with his degree, so he had the brilliant idea to get a job in every state's major industry for 1 week and document his experience.  He was a coal miner in West Virginia, a weatherman in Ohio, a model in North Carolina, and a corn farmer in Nebraska, amongst other things.  Although people he knew originally scoffed at this idea, check out how impressive his resume is now.
• "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen
• Unlike modern-day romance authors who set their romances on the North Carolina coast and gives movie roles to eye-candy like Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum, Jane Austen has truly original plot-lines and character development.  Her novel can be easily placed in modern times and still make perfect sense.
• "Harry Potter series" by J. K. Rowling
• I know they're technically children's books, but the series deals with many adult issues.  Plus, it's set in a universe that allows your imagination to run wild.
• "Southern Vampire Mysteries/Sookie Stackhouse novels" by Charlaine Harris
• "True Blood" found its inspiration and characters from these novels, but after the second season started deviating greatly from the plot lines in the novels.  I love "True Blood," but the books offer somewhat of an alternate universe to what's on the show.  Something about the way Charlaine Harris writes makes it impossible for me to not read an entire book in one sitting.
• "The Harper Connelly Mysteries" by Charlaine Harris
• I'm actually starting to like this series better than the Sookie Stackhouse novels.  Harper Connelly was struck by lightning when she was a kid, and as a result can sense the dead.  She can sense the final location of a person who's passed and see their last moments on Earth when she finds them, so she uses this ability to solve murder cases and provide closure to families as an independent detective.  
• "The Hunger Games Trilogy" by Suzanne Collins
• There are pros and cons to the movie and the book.  I loved the political implications of what our world could turn into and the complexity of how the government/districts operated (better explained in the book than the film).
• "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown
• Religion vs. Science = favorite interest of mine
• "The Venetian Betrayal," "The Alexandria Link," and... well everything by Steve Berry
• Steve Berry's novels follow the life of Cotton Malone, a former Justice Department operative, in his quest for uncovering secret ciphers, societies, etc.  Many compare his novels to the likes of Dan Brown, but I think Steve Berry does it better.  He writes novels not only dealing with American history conspiracy theories, but also incorporates world history.  
• "The Postcard Killers" by James Patterson
• James Patterson does excellent thriller novels; if you have a long flight, I suggest bringing 1 or 2 of his books.  Couples are killed seemingly at random and the killers send postcards to the police from where they will kill next to taunt them.  This one is my favorite of his writings because of the location (all over Europe), suspense, original plot, and unpredictable ending.  
• "Garden of Eden" by Ernest Hemingway
• I love Lost Generation writers; in many ways, I feel our generation is the "lost generation" of the new millennium.  "Garden of Eden" was Hemingway's last work, published posthumously because it was unfinished.  Coincidentally, the book "ends" right at the climax, leaving the reader's mind racing at how Hemingway would've ended it.
• "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," "The Great Gatsby," anything by F. Scott Fitzgerald
• "The Sign of Seven Trilogy" by Nora Roberts
• "Written on the Body" by Jeanette Winterson
• Read this for my film and literature class; I promise it's unlike any novel you'll ever read.
• "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen
• "Haroun and the Sea of Stories" by Salman Rushdie
• Another book labeled as a children's novel, but has amazing metaphors for political situations and censorship.  
• "The Kite Runner" and "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini
• "Who Goes There?" by John Campbell
• This is a short story that was the inspiration for "The Thing."  The story is much more suspenseful and scarier; worth your time.  

I'm sure I'll think of more later.  I had fillings done so the entire right side of my mouth is completely numb.  I'm trying to give myself things to do that don't require me talking/sounding like Sylvester from the Looney Tunes.  

What I would do if I had significantly more $

Part of being in your 20's is living paycheck to paycheck, which isn't always fun.  So every now and then I brainstorm what I would do if I had a mysterious, unknown ancestor leave me a ton of money.

• Pay off student loans.
• Get a Chrysler 200.
• Pay off anything my immediate family needs.
• Get condos in Seattle, Phoenix, Denver, & Boston.
• Get a townhouse in DC (preferably a Victorian looking one).
• TRAVEL: I would quite a bit on traveling and living in multiple countries for 2-3 months at a time.  Locations include Italy, Germany, Turkey, Australia, & the Amazon (also all of eastern & western Europe).
• Get a nose job.  In high school, an anonymous person on myspace private messaged me, insulting me about how horribly huge my nose was and how ugly I was because of it... It has been my main insecurity ever since.  I'm so afraid that when people look at me, all they see is my worst physical flaw.
• Hire people who knew how to invest my money in stocks/mutual funds.
• Have a personal trainer for myself and my future-spouse.
• Get my fiance the dream car he's always wanted.
• Set up a retirement fund.
• Build the dream house my step-dad didn't live to see built (but had blue plans for... I hope to build it someday).
• Become part-owner of a small business or start one of my own.
• Invest in and build no-kill animal shelters so they have more space, resources, adoption events, and better living conditions for the animals there.
• Become active in the political scene.
• Go on a really awesome cruise. First Class.

I'm sure I could think of more, but I need to start brainstorming Mother's Day gift ideas.

Sloth tends to take over on my day off

What my typical day off looks like:

9:30 - 10 AM - Yes!  It's my day off!  I can get so much done today!  I'll go tanning, work out, and run errands!
11 AM - (while watching TV) I should really start cleaning.  I'll eat first.
12 PM - *Piles everything on the coffee table into a really tall pile, vacuums, cleans bathroom/kitchen, dusts*
 1 PM - Yikes that was a lot of effort.  I should relax before all of my other tasks today.
 4 PM - What the hell?  It's 4 PM?  Wtf have I been doing on the internet for the past 3 hours?
 5 PM - I should make dinner.
 6 PM - Shower.
 7 PM - Ugh I forgot about working out/tanning! Well now I can't do that since I'm all showered and clean.
 8 PM - Internet surfing/Watching shows on DVR
 9:30 PM - Well I've got work tomorrow, so I shouldn't stay up too late.
11 PM or 12 AM - Oops.

I'm hoping to change that schedule around to include exercise this week since I finally have 2 days off a week instead of just 1 day off a week like a normal person.

And the winner of the "wtf were you thinking?" award goes to...

http://thechive.com/2012/02/23/girl-tattoos-boyfriend-of-1-week-on-her-arm-a-facebook-thread-ensues-12-photos/

No wonder guys are afraid to date us when women like this actually exist.  I love tattoos... but this is utterly ridiculous.

Post-college reflection

Things I don't miss about college:

• Girls pretending to be drunk to get guys' attention (this still happens after college, just not as often as it does at frat parties)
• Giant lecture halls
• The majority of my courses that were taught by TA's instead of professors
• The crazy old dude on the Oval who yells out why the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa are going to hell and tries to use the Bible to justify these claims
• Cramming/pulling all-nighters for finals 
• GEC courses
• Walking 6+ blocks to class in torrential rain, ice, and/or snow
• The dorms
• Not being taken seriously because I'm in college... One time the transformer blew outside my apartment at 11 PM and I called AEP.  The woman proceeded to tell me that I should call my landlord and hung up on me.
• Careless landlords (off-campus housing)
• People asking me what my major was and what I was planning on doing with it
• Peer pressure
• Anxiety about what I'm doing after I graduate
• Dudes on bikes who practically ran me over
• Being broke
• Futons

Things I do miss about college:

• The "fresh start"
• Having an excuse for being broke
• The few classes I had taught by professors
• My first apartment (it was the first time I really felt like I was an adult)
• The illusion that after college I would immediately go to grad school or get a really great-paying job
• Tanning on the Oval after morning classes
• Walking to class while listening to music during Spring quarter
• People watching on campus... such as the Shakespearian Club and the guy dressed in the green man suit 
• Free food
• Dirty Dungarees (laundromat + bar = success)
• Insomnia Cookies & Catfish Biff's pizza (although I'm glad I don't live close enough to them to indulge)
• Not having 100% responsibility because my parents thought I was still somewhat of a kid
• Halloween
• Student loan disbursements to my bank account every 3 months (cha-ching)
• Getting Panera and watching Cruel Intentions on Sundays
• Free time
• Seeing friends more than once a week or once a month

The job of my dreams

10 years ago, I thought that by the time I was in my 20's, my life would be completely different.  My current job has nothing to do with my degree, which is true of many 20-somethings. 


So here is a list of dream jobs that I would love to have (most of these are unrealistic):

• Intelligence Analyst for the FBI
• Behavioral Analyst for the FBI (I've googled the shit out of this and it's pretty much impossible... so thanks for nothing "Criminal Minds")
• Whatever the job title is for Samantha Brown (travels abroad and hosts a show about the places she visits on the Travel Channel)
• Detective (I know it's cooler on "Dexter" than in real life)
• Paralegal/lawyer on a legal team for a big fashion retailer like The Limited, Victoria's Secret, Express, etc.
• A permanent member of the cast of "True Blood"
• Personal assistant for a movie star
• Owner of a little book store
• Researcher for the Library of Congress (anything to work there in general)
• White House dog walker/dog-sitter
• Bridal consultant or working for a wedding planner
• Work at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park, preferably as a bartender in Hogsmeade
• Setting up displays/visuals or giving private tours at the Smithsonian's American History Museum
• Researcher for a major historical society (that would require some overseas research)
• Secretary for Wayne Enterprises 
• A villain in a James Bond movie
• Movie or book critic
• Writer of historical-fiction novels
• Part of the cast of a reality TV series filming my current workplace
• Part-owner of Panera Bread, Carsonie's Stromboli's, or Penn Station (free food!)
• Traveling abroad and rating hotels, restaurants, museums, and other attractions for a travel guide company (all expenses paid on top of being paid)

I can dream, right?