What I would do if I had significantly more $

Part of being in your 20's is living paycheck to paycheck, which isn't always fun.  So every now and then I brainstorm what I would do if I had a mysterious, unknown ancestor leave me a ton of money.

• Pay off student loans.
• Get a Chrysler 200.
• Pay off anything my immediate family needs.
• Get condos in Seattle, Phoenix, Denver, & Boston.
• Get a townhouse in DC (preferably a Victorian looking one).
• TRAVEL: I would quite a bit on traveling and living in multiple countries for 2-3 months at a time.  Locations include Italy, Germany, Turkey, Australia, & the Amazon (also all of eastern & western Europe).
• Get a nose job.  In high school, an anonymous person on myspace private messaged me, insulting me about how horribly huge my nose was and how ugly I was because of it... It has been my main insecurity ever since.  I'm so afraid that when people look at me, all they see is my worst physical flaw.
• Hire people who knew how to invest my money in stocks/mutual funds.
• Have a personal trainer for myself and my future-spouse.
• Get my fiance the dream car he's always wanted.
• Set up a retirement fund.
• Build the dream house my step-dad didn't live to see built (but had blue plans for... I hope to build it someday).
• Become part-owner of a small business or start one of my own.
• Invest in and build no-kill animal shelters so they have more space, resources, adoption events, and better living conditions for the animals there.
• Become active in the political scene.
• Go on a really awesome cruise. First Class.

I'm sure I could think of more, but I need to start brainstorming Mother's Day gift ideas.

Sloth tends to take over on my day off

What my typical day off looks like:

9:30 - 10 AM - Yes!  It's my day off!  I can get so much done today!  I'll go tanning, work out, and run errands!
11 AM - (while watching TV) I should really start cleaning.  I'll eat first.
12 PM - *Piles everything on the coffee table into a really tall pile, vacuums, cleans bathroom/kitchen, dusts*
 1 PM - Yikes that was a lot of effort.  I should relax before all of my other tasks today.
 4 PM - What the hell?  It's 4 PM?  Wtf have I been doing on the internet for the past 3 hours?
 5 PM - I should make dinner.
 6 PM - Shower.
 7 PM - Ugh I forgot about working out/tanning! Well now I can't do that since I'm all showered and clean.
 8 PM - Internet surfing/Watching shows on DVR
 9:30 PM - Well I've got work tomorrow, so I shouldn't stay up too late.
11 PM or 12 AM - Oops.

I'm hoping to change that schedule around to include exercise this week since I finally have 2 days off a week instead of just 1 day off a week like a normal person.

And the winner of the "wtf were you thinking?" award goes to...

http://thechive.com/2012/02/23/girl-tattoos-boyfriend-of-1-week-on-her-arm-a-facebook-thread-ensues-12-photos/

No wonder guys are afraid to date us when women like this actually exist.  I love tattoos... but this is utterly ridiculous.

Post-college reflection

Things I don't miss about college:

• Girls pretending to be drunk to get guys' attention (this still happens after college, just not as often as it does at frat parties)
• Giant lecture halls
• The majority of my courses that were taught by TA's instead of professors
• The crazy old dude on the Oval who yells out why the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa are going to hell and tries to use the Bible to justify these claims
• Cramming/pulling all-nighters for finals 
• GEC courses
• Walking 6+ blocks to class in torrential rain, ice, and/or snow
• The dorms
• Not being taken seriously because I'm in college... One time the transformer blew outside my apartment at 11 PM and I called AEP.  The woman proceeded to tell me that I should call my landlord and hung up on me.
• Careless landlords (off-campus housing)
• People asking me what my major was and what I was planning on doing with it
• Peer pressure
• Anxiety about what I'm doing after I graduate
• Dudes on bikes who practically ran me over
• Being broke
• Futons

Things I do miss about college:

• The "fresh start"
• Having an excuse for being broke
• The few classes I had taught by professors
• My first apartment (it was the first time I really felt like I was an adult)
• The illusion that after college I would immediately go to grad school or get a really great-paying job
• Tanning on the Oval after morning classes
• Walking to class while listening to music during Spring quarter
• People watching on campus... such as the Shakespearian Club and the guy dressed in the green man suit 
• Free food
• Dirty Dungarees (laundromat + bar = success)
• Insomnia Cookies & Catfish Biff's pizza (although I'm glad I don't live close enough to them to indulge)
• Not having 100% responsibility because my parents thought I was still somewhat of a kid
• Halloween
• Student loan disbursements to my bank account every 3 months (cha-ching)
• Getting Panera and watching Cruel Intentions on Sundays
• Free time
• Seeing friends more than once a week or once a month

The job of my dreams

10 years ago, I thought that by the time I was in my 20's, my life would be completely different.  My current job has nothing to do with my degree, which is true of many 20-somethings. 


So here is a list of dream jobs that I would love to have (most of these are unrealistic):

• Intelligence Analyst for the FBI
• Behavioral Analyst for the FBI (I've googled the shit out of this and it's pretty much impossible... so thanks for nothing "Criminal Minds")
• Whatever the job title is for Samantha Brown (travels abroad and hosts a show about the places she visits on the Travel Channel)
• Detective (I know it's cooler on "Dexter" than in real life)
• Paralegal/lawyer on a legal team for a big fashion retailer like The Limited, Victoria's Secret, Express, etc.
• A permanent member of the cast of "True Blood"
• Personal assistant for a movie star
• Owner of a little book store
• Researcher for the Library of Congress (anything to work there in general)
• White House dog walker/dog-sitter
• Bridal consultant or working for a wedding planner
• Work at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park, preferably as a bartender in Hogsmeade
• Setting up displays/visuals or giving private tours at the Smithsonian's American History Museum
• Researcher for a major historical society (that would require some overseas research)
• Secretary for Wayne Enterprises 
• A villain in a James Bond movie
• Movie or book critic
• Writer of historical-fiction novels
• Part of the cast of a reality TV series filming my current workplace
• Part-owner of Panera Bread, Carsonie's Stromboli's, or Penn Station (free food!)
• Traveling abroad and rating hotels, restaurants, museums, and other attractions for a travel guide company (all expenses paid on top of being paid)

I can dream, right?