wedding issue #1

I'm getting married in September.  I'll be 24 when I say "I do," which makes me feel old (because I feel like married people are old) and young because other people my age are saying they couldn't think of being married at our age.  I got engaged this past December, leaving me a cool 10 months to plan.  This will be the first of a few wedding issues.  Let me give you a glimpse of what you'll run into...

The day you're engaged:

Yay!  You're engaged!  You're so excited and just want to tell EVERYONE!  When I called a few close friends/siblings within an hour of the proposal (after calling parents first), this is what I was faced with from my single friends:

Me: Hey I'm engaged!
Friend: "Omg!  No way!  Congrats!  Tell me how it happened!"
Me: I tell them the story of how creative and thoughtful the proposal was and what the ring looks like.
Friend: "So when's the wedding?  What's the theme of the wedding?  Do you have colors picked out?  What kind of dress do you want?  Are you having chicken or beef?  I personally prefer chicken, pairs so well with white wine... what kinds of white wine are you having?"
Me: ".... This literally happened 40 minutes ago, I have no idea, haha."
Friend: "Well you better start planning!  I watch those wedding shows and those brides are so stressed out!  If you need anything let me know (when what they really mean is "if you need me to give you things to stress out about, let me know").

Seriously?  Right after Justin proposed, my reaction wasn't, "Yes!  And by the way, we should do a ____ theme wedding with _____ colors.  How do you feel about fondant icing?"

I'm guessing due to Pinterest and Etsy, most girls are planning their dream weddings before they're even in a relationship (I won't even go there), so maybe they already know the answers to the questions that I was faced with on my first day of being a fiancee.

Here's the reaction I dealt with from people who are already married:

Me: "Hey I'm engaged!"
Married person: "Congrats!  Have you started planning?  You know the sooner you plan the better it turns out.  When's the date?"
Me: "Oh sometime in September we're thinking."
Married person: "THIS COMING SEPTEMBER?!  Can you even get a dress in time?  Mine took MONTHS to get in.  You need to figure out a venue and catering FAST before they're all taken!  And don't forget about a photographer and DJ."
Me: "Yeah I'll figure it out."
Married person: "Ha well you better figure it out fast, I don't even know how you'll get a wedding planned in less than a year!  When I was planning my wedding... (goes into a long winded story about their wedding planning)."

Let's get one thing straight: just because you planned your own wedding and got married does not make you have a Ph. D. in wedding planning.... yet almost every married person I've dealt with has acted like just because they booked this one fabulous photographer or had a really great DJ that their wedding is the only way to do a wedding.  I imagine that first-time moms face a similar experience from their aunts/sisters (who already have kids) about how to raise children.

For instance, tradition dictates that bridesmaids are to be shoved into the same frumpy, boxy, ugly satin dresses that aren't flattering so the bride will be the most beautiful one in her wedding party (hint: doesn't always work that way); they also must agree with the bride that they are "totally cute" and "oh yeah we can totally wear these again!" although deep down they can't believe they have to wear them in public.  Well, I decided to deviate from the norm because I hate doing things like everyone else; it's just how I am.  I don't believe in doing something just because some societal norm that is rooted in superstition says so.  I'm confident enough in my identity to know that my chances of tying the knot are not going to be thrown off by my bridesmaids looking hot.  I want my friends to be happy, confident, and pretty in what they're wearing... not to mention I can't stand the thought of them spending $100+ on a dress they don't even like.  So I decided after choosing my colors to let them pick their own dresses as long as it was in the given color.

Reaction #1 (mostly friends/bridesmaids): "THANK YOU for not making us all get the same dress!  This way we can each get a dress to flatter our figure and show our personality... not to mention we'll pick something we actually like!"

Reaction #2 (mostly those already married or older people): "Oh so they won't be wearing the same dress?  Won't it look uncoordinated?  I mean, it's YOUR wedding and everything, but I wouldn't be surprised if people think it looks messy.  So you might want to reconsider."

I'm not taking anything personally; everyone's entitled to an opinion.  This is the way I see it: it's our wedding, so we're going to do things the way WE want to.  We're only getting married once, so we want to do it on our terms.  Not to mention that no matter what we do, someone will find an aspect that they don't like... especially when a few family members figure out it's a non-religious wedding.

Within 5 weeks of the proposal, I had the venue/catering, photographer, DJ, and wedding cake booked and deposits paid.  I have my dress and shoes already; those came in a few weeks ago.  I honestly can't understand what all the fuss is about with planning.

Taste testing commences on Thursday evening with my fiance and future in-laws.  Wish me luck!